So why, whenever I mention Patrick/Bill, why do you all roll your eyes and say whatever? Why, whenever I share about their songs, why do you all never even bother to try to listen, and just look away, saying how 'they can't sing! they just look good.', 'what rubbish is he singing, anyhow sia.' Why, whenever I mention the things I like, why do you all shut me out and start talking about your stuff? It hasn't been an easy road from primary school until now. It hadn't been easy for me to break those walls and actually open up to people. It hadn't been easy to pretend that it didn't hurt, that I'm insensitive to your comments.
The only thing I probably did not share is sensitivity. I know I say I pretty much don't care about my feelings but do you know, at the end of the day, how hurt I am? Well then again, it doesn't matter. You can just stay happy, live, love, laugh, have fun, without me. No matter how hard you try to act like you don't care, I can tell. How many years of experience do I have on such stuff? More than you ever know. More than you can ever imagine. More than half your life as much as mine.
But then again, nobody bothers, and even if they did, it's selective bothering. So whatever, whatever really. I've had enough of patronising. It's been eight long years. And still counting. Whatever, really. That's all I can say about all this now. Just when I decided to care about myself and to open myself. Just when I thought I could finally stop being afraid to talk to people, except my real best friends, like who? Valery&Hannah. At least they listen and respect me. And give me honest opinions. They don't patronise.
One more thing. There's a limit to how much insults without offense I can take. But then again, it doesn't matter, right? Because all that matters is that YOU have had fun, that YOU have created awesome memories for yourself, that YOU are the best. Whatever. I'll apologise for being so sensitive, for being so self-centered. I'm just tired, and I don't really want to care anymore. Because nobody listens, and people always wonder why I'm crazy somewhere.
compulsivemaybejustsimplycrazyintheheadwithaloo
sescrew
Ich bin wirklich müde.
Oh, maybe I shall apologise I 1) overdress 2) wear accessories like a shop 3) pair shirts and skirts like nobody's business 4) like to dress up, even if it's for fun 5) like to wear things people don't. The only times I let my dressing loose a little is only when I go out with friends. And even so, you all still say I overdress. Why do you even want to criticise what I wear? Why can't you just understand I follow my style and not the mainstream fads/fashion? Are you ashamed to walk beside me?
I like dressing up, I like looking different from people, I like wearing out my style. So just respect me, and not give me insults-without-offense kind of jokes because it really hurts.
I like my nails black like crazy people, white like liquid paper. I like my skirts short but I wear them with leggings, my pants ripped/torn/destroyed to match my life and self-esteem. I like my clothes paired to my own style like insane people (or whatever, scene). I like writing and doodling like nobody's business. I don't like talking on the phone but I still do, because people don't listen so I put up with them. I like respecting people for what they like but they apparently don't.
P/s: Y'know, even if you lied and said you liked FOB/TH's songs, I would be really happy. Oh wait, it doesn't matter right?